MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
