well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
