So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
