Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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