he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
