I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
3pm strippers are depressing
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
