Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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