good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I wish they made helmets for livers.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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