Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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