That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
