i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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