This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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