Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
