Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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