i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
