At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
