He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
