She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
