these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
