is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
