i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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