I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
