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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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