just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
