Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
