Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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