I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
