How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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