I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
