Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
