you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
