you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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