yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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