Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
