Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
