How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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