I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
