I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
