So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
