i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
