i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
so much tequila, so little girl.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
