its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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