you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
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