Acid is not a monday night drug
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The adults are the big ones right?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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