whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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