I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize