yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
