I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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