Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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