Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
