I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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