he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
