if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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