Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize