She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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