So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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