Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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