Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
