he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
