Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
