I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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