it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
