its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
