like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
