I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
